10:31:04... I get a text from a Miss Carr. "you should check your facebook" Obviously this must be important and clearly really personal since it's posted on FB for all to see.
10:31:11... I check FB and see "Ashton Kutcher is across the street from you at eBay. Right now. You should go walk around the campus and find him" Now. I just so happen to be working from home today... and eBay just so happens to literally be across the street from our house. So, sitting in my pajamas watching Hoda and Kathy Lee on the Today Show (don't judge) - I laugh at the idea and then think... hmmm. That could be fun. Hell. Why not?
10:42:44... I'm out the door. In work-out attire. Phone in hand. I stroll over to eBay and realize - holy crap. There are like 40 buildings that make up the eBay campus... so I circle around the campus and just end at the main entrance. I mean. Why not?
10:58:00... Sitting on the corner of a flower bed, I act like a 5th grader with a plastic cell phone and pretend to talk on my phone. Yep. Pathetic. I tell myself, I'm giving this 7 minutes and then I'm out. Afterall - I have no idea if he's even still here or if he's in a meeting that will last until 4PM!
11:01:32... The main door opens and a familiar voice says "Thanks again..." and as I turn I see a handsome man, sans trucker hat...
There he was. Ashton in the flesh. I then decide it's time to wrap up my fake conversation (which apparently I was having with someone who worked at eBay about them being late for lunch... which is obviously why I was sitting outside the main doors by myself. Smooth, Audrey. Smooth)... I get up to "stand in the sun"... which just so happened to be like 10 feet from where Ashton was on his phone. Probably having a fake conversation as well. His publicist/agent was with him and she called for the car. I try to subtly show off the belly to show "Hey - I'm harmless..." and who doesn't like a prego friend, right?
11:06:21... Ashton gets off the phone and I see this as my opportunity. However, I also see a black SUV pulling into the parking lot and know my time is slipping away. I start to plan my approach and some hussy was apparently thinking the same thing from inside the eBay building. She pounced as soon as she saw him turn off his phone. She ran up to him and starting saying how much she loved him and I decided right then and there I didn't want to be that girl. She got her picture and then his publicist/agent pulled him into the SUV.
11:06:59... I'm pretty sure I caught Ashton look at the belly and give me a tiny smile. Maybe it was a curtesy smile... like - hey, I know you were secretly waiting for a picture. or hey, you're pregnant. or hey, the sun's in my eyes and I'm squinting... but either way, it was a little smile that made my fake conversation totally worth it.
Okay - so maybe this won't make the storyline of the 4th Bourne movie, but it added some fun moviestar drama to my day.
The End.
**And thanks to Joanna and Julia for the head's up... None of this would have been possible without you. I'll definitely thank you in my Oscar speach next year**
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5 comments:
oh i definitely heard the jason bourne music in the background. this is hilarious. i love that lil lop gave you extra confidence to be a stalker. next up: matt damon.
!!! did you even see "a star" in SB??and now in little old do you know the way to San Jose! And do Joanna and Julia work for eBay??
YES! i'm not ashamed to admit that i've stalked your blog repeatedly since yesterday...knowing...hoping...you'd relay this minute by minute adventure to us. nicely done. love the fake phone call, love the belly show, love the smile in your direction.
and glad josh is back!
Julia's husband is the eBayer... So Julia told her sister Joanna and Joanna in her infinite wisdom must have sensed I was home and across the street from Ashton-ville. It just happened to work out perfectly...
that is hilarious! i never have any celebrity encounters... i'll have to live vicariously through you!
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